Friday, October 7, 2011

Same day same crap

He ended it and said he was done for good...I am not handling things well...it's so painful when you really think you've found the one and he doesn't feel that way about you...I know god is working and I really felt confidently he was the one...i'm just trying to have faith if it's meant to be, then he will come back into my life when we are ready. I'm not going to let it kill me inside right now...I need to have faith in god...

I have decided I may not go back to the counselor about the eating disorder...I only went because Stephen said I had to or he wouldn't even consider dating me...and now without the purpose to satisfy I feel like the purpose has shifted to me actually needing help...and the fact is, I don't really want help...i would rather waste away to nothingness...it's the only thing no one has control over except me...and I'm keeping it...

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