Love and loss

Life is lonely. Stephen and I broke up last saturday night. He is still talking to me, but the fact that he doesn't know If he wants to be with me should be enough to tell me it's not going to work. Why the hell do I have to love him so much? I hate it. He's jerking me around so much and blaming everything on me. It's not just me. It's killing me inside...

I love him. I wish there were a way to go back in time and not let it go wrong. Not have him change. Not have him quit pretending to be exactly who I wanted to be with. I loved that guy. The new guy is an asshole and all we do is fight. It's hard to tell myself he pretended to be someone else for a year and a half and this is really who he is. I think parts of the person I love are still in there, I just don't know how to get them back