I am so tired of the yelling and screaming. I'm tired of how things go. I just want to be able to TALK. To communicate. It isn't fair to have no ability to speak about things that impact your life and your well being. I am not okay with living like this. With living like i don't matter. I'm tired of the impossibility of trust. I know I can never trust someone who lies to me and treats me like I am expendable. God, I deserve so much better than this.
I deserve to be loved as christ loved the church... He sacrificed his life for it, he gave everything with only a hope that they would return that gift with something worthy. I just feel like Stephen is selfish. Maybe I am too, but I have morals, and those morals tell me everything about this is wrong. The looking at other women, the cursing, the names...I can't take things as the are. I had hope Stephen would have come to know god by this point, I suppose I honestly haven't helped. I just want him to be someone that a nonbeliever has no concept or notion of how to be. I don't know what to do anymore
Today, he lied to me. He told me out of respect fr me he wasn't watching movies with naked women or stuff that would bother me. But "because we were fighting" he rented some move with scenes that could have been porn. It's just nt fair to be treated this way
